Opening Soon!

JSM CAFE: SPORTS Grand Opening is August 14th! Your new home for: NFL Football analysis Fantasy Football Coverage MLB Notes News from Professional Wrestling and extreme sports ***Attention readers: The Gridiron Guru is inviting you to send in Fantasy Football questions for the upcoming season.  You can send them one of two ways.  Either as a private comment or by emailing them direct to: Nessie80@aol.com.  Send your questions and the Guru will answer them in his new column, soon to be exclusive to jsmcafesports.blogstream.com

Realtor Man vs. Giant Franco

Their fight is next...

Lets send it down to our announcers, who are set to call tonight's action, our play-by-play man is Joe Peein and his color commentator, Dave Razz...

• Joe: Hello everyone, can you feel the electricity in the air as we get set to kick off this exciting and interactive tournament that will crown the first ever Fantasy fighting ultimate champion?!

• Dave: Hey Joe, does that mean that the winner will be the first F.U.C?

• Joe: Remember Dave, we do have a family audience here, but yes, you're correct.

• Dave: Well, I suppose we should introduce the fighters, as they make their way to ringside. Here goes.

• Joe: “Making his way torward the ring, accompanied by his loyal man-servant, Matt Kapoopcheck, hailing from Corporate America, and weighing in at an astounding 350 lbs...Giant Franco!!!”

• ((loud Boos!!!))

• Dave: My god, Joe listen to these chorus of boos, they're actually throwing pieces of debris into the ring and the match hasn't even started yet.

• Joe: Are you surprised? Franco is even less popular at the polls than George W.

• Dave: Let's not get over-political here, Joe...(laughs) but that was pretty funny!

Joe: Franco always comes to the ring with that cash register flowing, he's been known to use that as a foreign object, you know.

Dave: Yes, but as we know no object is illegal in this grueling tournament. Here comes his challenger.

• Joe: “And his opponent...accompanied to the ring, by his wife, Mitzy. From Champlin, Minnesota and weighing in at 180 lbs...The Realtor Man!!!

• ((Realtor Man pumps his fist w/ cell phone in the air, to the ovation of the crowd))

• Dave: His wife appears to be giving him a good luck kiss before the big fight.

• Joe: You call that a kiss? They're practically making out in the corner of the ring...hey get a room or get on to the match you too!

• Dave: I just hope we don't see that same pre-match ritual with Franco and Matt K. I might lose my lunch, otherwise.

• Joe: Good point, Dave. It looks like our two combatants are having a stare down in the center of the ring. There is the bell and this opening round match is offically under way.

You decide who wins!!!

Realtor Man w/ wife, Mitzy

(vs.)

  Giant Franco w/ manservant, Matt K.

(Pre match)

Ultimate Fantasy Announcer, Joe Peein Interviewed "Realtor Man" and Giant Franco before their big fight Sunday.  Here were their comments.

 Realtor Man: I'm sorry, but Franco is like one of my cigerettes, first I'll smoke him, then I'll blow him out... all over the arena.  Then just when he is about all worn out, I'll drop him, rub him out with my foot and leave him laying all over the pavement! His big ass will be nothing more then a cigarette butt once I get through with him!

later...

Giant Franco: He's just not a team player, and I hate fighters who aren't team players.  You see in the business world there is a pecking order and this kid will learn that when you cross the boss man, you've got to pay the price! Once that bell rings I'm gonna down size him limb from limb, why? Because I can!  Realtor will be begging for a layoff, but when you're in the ring with the boss of bosses, you don't get laid off...YOU GET LAID OUT!

Joe: Matt, can I ask why you chose to back Giant Franco is this tournament?

Matt K: That's easy, God told me to in a dream.  You see, Franco is a very wise man, he loaned me his bible and read me some scriptures.  He gives me his famous high fives and when no one is looking, one of his famous bear hugs.  I trained him really well for this fight and Joe, I'm not ashamed to say that I took a whiff of his sweaty shirts on more then one occasion while getting them washed at the cleaners, after some of his work outs. (sighs)  

Joe: I see...well...awesome, now let's take a look at the tale of the tape between these two "gladiators of the ring."  That is coming up, next.   

ULTIMATE FANTASY FIGHTING

Rules for the players:

• The tournament will feature seven fights consisting of four first round fights, two semi-final fights and one championship final.  At the start of each week, you will be introduced to two of the created fighters that have been paired up to face-off.  Each of the four 1st round match-ups has it's own story to it that will be displayed.

• One tournament fight will be held each week and those playing will have until late Thursday evening to vote on which fighter they think should win.  You are free to base your vote on anything from the fighter's home town, to the weapon that they use, or even on their appearance or name.  The choice is yours. 

• Voting each week will begin late Sunday and end late Thursday.  There will only be one fight to vote on each week.  But the voting time will remain the same.  
• Make sure to check in every Friday morning, because that is when the fun reading really begins! I write up the results of your votes, declare the winner, AND write up how the fight went down, move for move and with no shortage of humor and satire.  
• A new fight will be posted each Sunday, and that week's fighters introduced.

• As far as voting goes, I encourage all players to vote as many times as they like for the fighters they like best.  The only restrictions are that you are only allowed to vote once a day, that means you can vote up to five times.  I also ask that if you choose to vote several times, throughout the week that you vote for only one of the two fighters in each fight.   
• But most importantly, have fun with this and feel free to provide comments on the action or on who you voted for and why.  That about covers it, enjoy the game and may the best fighter win. -JSM.

UFF Quarter-Finals		UFF Semi-Finals		UFF CHAMPIONSHIP FINALS!
	Realtor Man Fight 1: 8/4/06 Giant Franco
			Winner of 1 Fight 5: 9/1/06 Winner of 3
					Winner of 5  Fight 7: 9/24/06 Winner of 6
	J-Cool Fight 3: 8/18/06 Boozemaster
	Josh "My Gosh" Fight 2: 8/11/06 "I Maim" James
			Winner of 2 Fight 6: 9/8/06 Winner of 4
	"Ace" Compton Fight 4: 8/25/06 Rumblin' Rosie