• Joe: Out comes Booze playing his saxophone for the masses, with his dad leading the way.

• Joe: Oh! Coach Dad makes the save, and pulls J-Cool by the feet out of the ring before the three count and now he's beating J-Cool over the head with his damn Realtor signs!!

• Dave: Those signs feel harder then they look.

• Joe: The Ref has just thrown his dad out of the arena! Coach Dad is irate!

• Joe: Well Boozemaster has recovered and is banging J-Cool with his beer cans, J-Cool is gagging on the beer.

• Dave: Oh! He just smacked Booze with his dreaded coffee thermos, Joe! I suppose nothing wakes you up better than a good old espresso shot, and a shot it was!

• Joe: Booze goes down and now J is reaching for his loaded book of incredibly big words, I believe it's the “Best of Walt Whitman,” Volume 2.

• ((Eric jumps from the corner and misses his target, the crowd goes nuts!))

• Joe: Boozemaster jumps out of the way, and he nailed his own man with the sax!!!J-Cool is out cold!

• Joe: Boozemaster, still blinded by the coffee shot, crawls over and lays his arm over the fallen J-Cool, what a huge mistake by Eric the DJ, Dave...but can Booze capitalize? We need a ref!

• Dave: Realtor Man is slowly recovering, he slides into the ring, still groggy!
  ((Ref: ...1.....2.....3!))

• Joe: It's over, Boozemaster wins it, in unbelievable fashion

• Joe: EXCLAMATION POINT!!! J-Cool just laid the smack down on his cousin, but why?!

• Dave: You never know what to expect out here, Joe. It was a costly mistake and J-Cool's cousin paid the price.

Bucket on a Pole match!

• Joe Peein: This capacity crowd are on their feet for what promises to be a bitter showdown between two patriarchs of man power maintenance.

• Dave: Out comes Ace with his custom built plunger in one hand and his marked cards in the other!

• Rush (Limbaugh): Thanks for having me, gentlemen. Tonight we are going to see a new era, we are going to correct a great wrong, because you see, gentlemen—there is a grand conspiracy working against my friend, Mr. Compton; but tonight we're sending Rosey back on that boat to Tora Bora and my good friend, Mr. Compton is going back to his rightful place...on his throne as King of all janitors! Why? Because it's the American way!

• Joe: The mild-mannered Rosey saunters out throwing roses to the ladies at ringside and sweeping the floors on the way to the ring.

• ((Rush pulls off his head set and heads toward his corner.))

• Joe: Well, now I'm calling this one stag, but what the heck...Rosey is literally mopping the floor with Ace, and now he's mopping Ace's face with his mop.

• Joe: My god! It's Lucus coming out to the ring... and he's driving a damn cart machine, every one in the front row better take cover!

  ((Rush tries to cut Lucus off in front of the ring, but Lucus runs him down!))

• 

  ((Plop!))

Joe: Too late...Ace just stuck his plunger on Lucus' head, I believe he calls it “the Royal Flush” and now Lucus is running around like a headless chicken, but that isn't so unusual and I'm guessing this isn't the first swirly Lucus has experienced.

((Rosey sets up the ladder in the corner of the ring near the pole. He begins to climb.))

Joe: Compton is done for, his leg is twitching like a swatted fly. Rumblin' Rosey is at the top and he's got his hand on the bucket...

((A masked man emerges from the crowd and jumps over the barricade into the ring! He pushes over the ladder as Rosey reaches for the bucket, Rosey goes tumblin' to the floor and goes through the announce table!))

((Tom White calls for the bell!))

Joe: Ace grabs the bucket, and this is over...Ace Compton wins it and damn it, Rosey got screwed tonight!

((Crowd boos the masked man and throws beer bottles and trash into the ring))

Joe: By “any means necessary” is Ace's motto, and he just bought himself a ticket into the final four and a date with Josh “My Gosh” Konnors!