UFF Championship Finals Part 2.

 

 ·        Joe: The ring is surrounded by angry lumber jacks looking for retribution.  We are being joined here at the broadcast booth by Ace’s good friend, Steve “Minkster” Minkie. 

·        Dave: How’s it going Mink?

·        Mink: Dave, Catch that Gopher's game last week? This is their year, baby! Argh-Argh-Argh!

·        Joe: The bell rings, and Realtor Man takes the upper hand early and charges in, swinging his softball bat!

·        Dave: Damn, Joe! He’s wailing a way on Compton with that bat, the fans are going nuts!

·        Joe: Ace, smartly slides out of the ring and onto the floor to escape the bat wielding Realtor.  Ace is calling for time-out, but as you know Dave, there are no time-outs in fantasy fighting.

·        Mink: Joe, did you catch the latest stock rise on hand cream? Damn good investment and it makes your hands nice and soft, too!

·        Dave: Ace tries to regroup on the floor, but Realtor is following him out with the bat in hand.  Giant Franco and Chad “My Bad” Kerds are there to greet him with a double “Corporate clothesline!”

·        Mink: Luck is with Ace again, we rubbed heads before the fight, you know.

·        Joe: Ace gives Realtor his patented “Commie kick” to the ribs and throws Realtor into the metal ring steps. 

·        Dave: Realtor gambled and lost by going out on the floor, Joe.  This is the first real strategical error of the fight, so far. 

·        Joe: What the hell is this? Franco and Chad grab Realtor Man by the throat and hoist him up right here in front of us—My God! They just choked slammed him through our damn announce table!

·        ((The crash thunders throughout the arena!))

·        Crowd chants: ((Holy sh*t! Holy sh*t!))

·        Joe: Realtor Man is out cold here at our feet, Dave! Chad and Giant Franco high five each other to the boos of this capacity crowd, he’s hurt, and I have to question if he can continue on!

·        Dave: Realtor’s wife, Mitzy is clearly distraught, as she allows her coffee to fall from her hand onto the floor, in distress.

·        Mink: Must be decaf, argh-argh-argh!

·        Dave: Here come Josh and James to fight off Franco and his Chief of Staff, Chad!

·        Joe: Meanwhile, Ace is at ringside trying to make time with Mitzy, give me a break! She’ll have none of his taunts, as she swings her purse at him in anger and disgust!

·        Mink: I bet Ace gets lucky tonight, argh-argh-argh!

·        Dave: Referee, Eric “Hellraiser” Hasse goes on the floor to check on the fallen Realtor, as the lumber jacks continue to scuffle.

·        Joe: Dave it’s not looking good right now, but as long as this fight continues, there is always hope.  I don’t think Realtor Man will go down without a fight!

Dave: Ace grabs Realtor and tosses him back into the ring, he might go for the pin or maybe beat him down some more. 

Joe: Some thing is wrong with our official, he just fainted as he was making his way up the ring side steps, I think he took a nasty bump on the noggin as he hit the floor!

Mink: hmm...someone must have spiked Hasse's pre-match glass of screw drivers.  Uh... never mind.

Joe: Our referee is out of commision, now what?

Mink: I'll take over, I'm fair and balanced, like Fox news.

·        Dave: It remains to be seen, but both you guys are staying here at the booth, at least what's left of it.  While we have this momentary pause in the action, we’ll take this quick break. 

 

Next- Part 3: The Conclusion!

 

The Ultimate Fantasy Fighting Champion is...
	Ace Compton
	Realtor Man
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-Voting Ends Tuesday Night @ 10pm EST.

-Vote & Comment below-

Ace Compton vs. Realtor Man

-With your announcers Joe Peein and Dave Razz.

 

• 

  Joe: Eight men entered and two remain. Welcome to the Target Center in down town Minneapolis and welcome to the Ultimate Championship Finals. Dave, it was a long, but adventurous road to the championship and it concludes this week with what is building up as a big time grudge match between our finalists Realtor Man and Ace Compton.

• 

  Dave: Joe, I can barely hear you over this capacity crowd, they are pumped and so am I, but you're right tension has been building all week and our two combatants are eager to tear into one another and this should come as no surprise, but I'm expecting another wild one tonight.

• Joe: Both took conspicuous roads to get to this point, we can go all the way back to our opening fight in the tourney when Realtor Man defeated his corrupt boss, Giant Franco! Then in the semis he stepped in the ring and defeated his younger brother, despite interference from his old man.

• Dave: Ace proved without a shadow of a doubt that he was the undisputed “King of all Janitors” when he toppled Rosey, of course with a little help from his masked friend, which turned out to be Steve “The Minkster” Minkie. Ace then moved on and squashed Josh in the semis on his way to the finals, proving to always be one step a head of his competition along the way.

• 

  Joe: Realtor Man's wife, Mitzy is sitting in the front row, nervously looking on, while sipping at her Caribou coffee. Of course Ace has attempted to use her unborn child as a ploy to get into Realtor's head, and it remains to be seen if his mind games will pay off. Dave let's take it up to our announcer, as both fighters are in the ring and ready for introductions.

• Announcer: ((Ladies and Gentlemen the following contest is for the undisputed Ultimate fantasy fighter's championship one fall to a finish...standing in the blue corner from Champlin, Minnesota and weighing in at 182 lbs...REALTOR MAN!!!))

• ((Crowd cheers, as Realtor, jumping up and down in his corner, peers at Ace with a cold stare.))

• Announcer:((Standing in the red corner from Las Vegas, Nevada and weighing in at 200 lbs...accompanied by The Minkster...ACE COMPTON!!!))

• Dave: Check it out Joe, Ace is doing jumping jacks and sit-ups in the ring, he seems much more laid back coming into this, perhaps too much so. I think it might be more mind games at work here.

• ((Cameras are flashing as the two finalists have a stare down in the center of the ring.))

• Joe: Wait a minute—what is this?

• 

  ((Out from the ramp way comes four fighters dressed as lumber jacks and carrying a weapon.))

• Joe: It's “I Maim” James...and Giant Franco...and Chad “My Bad” Kerds...Josh too! This is going to be mayhem!

• Dave: No Joe, this is going to be...a “Lumber Jack Match!”

• ((The bell rings. Realtor Man and Ace prepare to lock up, but glance outside the ring at the angry lumber jacks who are circling the ring with weapons in hand.))

To be continued...you pick the winner!

The Ultimate Fantasy Fighting Champion is...
	Ace Compton
	Realtor Man
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Polls close Tuesday Night @ 10pm EST.

Come vote daily.  Comment on your choice.

The Barry Zinger Show

Next on Zinger:

"Realtor's wife having Janitor's baby?!"

Barry Zinger: Alright, our next guests are set to go head to head this week in a highly anticipated championship fight. It's the Ultimate Fantasy Fighters tournament and it will come to a head beginning this Wednesday afternoon. But that is only half the story, joining us here at the show are one of the two combatants along with his wife, Mitzy, is Realtor Man.

((Crowd hoots and hollers))

Barry: Now Realtor let me get this straight, your opponent has come out with some accusations that are quite stunning, to say the least. He claims that you are not the father of your wife's unborn child...

Realtor Man: I'm sorry, but these stories that Ace are telling are completely untrue. He's nothing but a lying &(*@%# ((bleep!))

((audience cheers))

Mitzy: All these false accusations are stressing out my man, just look at him, his hair is falling out in clumps and that pout of his might need to be surgically removed! 

Zinger: Well let's bring out your opponent along with his “special friend,” The Minkster, or something like that...please welcome Ace Compton.

((Crowd hoots and pumps their hands in the air.))

((Realtor man throws his chair down and confronts Ace as he comes on stage.))

Barry Zinger: Settle down, Realtor. Please sit down. Ace let's hear your side of this story.

Realtor: Yeah, you punk a$$ %%(!!!

((The Minkster throws out candy from his apron into the audience.))

Crowd Chants:((Go Minkster! Go-Go,Go Minkster!))

Ace: I'm here for one reason, Barry and that's to expose my opponent and his lovely wife of their dirty little secret, so I won't mince words here and keep you all in suspense any longer, because time is money and tomorrow evening, The Mink and I are cashing in our chips and collecting the prize. Realtor Man, you're a crock and I'm a sting ray, and your ass is gonna get stung tomorrow!

((Realtor Man clenches his fists, as Mitzy tries to hold him back.))

Ace: Mitzy, why don't you let go of those feelings you have inside, we both know the truth, we both know that I'm the man you really want, and after I beat your husband this week, you're going to come to your senses and you'll leave that ring with a real winner and a real man's man. That baby you're having deserves to be with his real daddy...me!!!

((Audience gasps!))

((Realtor Man slams down his chair and charges Ace, fists flying!))

Barry Zinger: We're losing control out here as security tries to sort things out, but I think this may have to be settled in the ring tomorrow!

((Crowd: Barry! Barry! Barry!))

Realtor Man: You son of a ^%$#, you're a dead man tomorrow! ((bleep)) you!

((Security pulls the two fighters off each other!))

Barry Zinger: We've got to go to break, tomorrow night catch this fight only on Pay-Per-View... or at the JSM Cafe!  Get these fu$%#$ out of here!

((closing music))

-Championship Voting begins Wednesday!

UFF Quarter-Finals		UFF Semi-Finals		UFF CHAMPIONSHIP FINALS!
	Realtor Man Gm 1: 8/4/06 Giant Franco
			Realtor Man Gm 5: 9/1/06 Boozemaster
					Realtor Man Gm 7: 9/24/06 Ace Compton
	J-Cool Boozemaster vs. J-Cool Boozemaster
	Josh "My Gosh" Gm 3: 8/11/06 "I Maim" James
			Josh "My Gosh" Gm 6: 9/8/06 Ace Compton
	Ace Compton Gm 4: 8/25/06 Rumblin' Rosie

World Trade Center...Was it too soon?

 

I recently had the opportunity to see Oliver Stone's World Trade Center in theaters, and I must say that it was a different experience from what I was expecting going in.  There had been a lot of speculation as to rather it was too soon to make a motion picture surrounding the attacks on the towers on 9/11, which is just five years removed.  Some have argued that the country needed more time to properly heal and recover from those tragic events and that a film would only serve to glorify and/or profit from the tragedy. 

I, myself had similar reservations at first, but I also wanted to see the film before jumping to such conclusions, so I went in with a fairly open mind.  I came a way with a very positive opinion of how the subject matter was handled.  The film really does focus of the bravery and heroism of the military personel, medics, and the NYPD and really downplays the agenda behind the attacks and the political aspects surrounding its aftermath.  The story is really about the two police officers who are trapped beneath the rubble after the second tower collapses on them, while they are trying to rescue and evacuate people from the building.  The film also follows the families of the two trapped officers and captures their deep angst, as they await word on their loved one's survival or whereabouts. 

One of the main objections that some might have had against the making of the film was the fear that it would exploit the tragedy and it would result in a typical disaster movie that relies heavily on awing its audience with special effects.  The other fear, I suspect, was that these events would be overly romanticized or given a "Hollywood twist," thus blurring the reality and cheapening its overall effect (ala, Pearl Harbor).  Neither was the case here.  Stone does a teriffic job at staying true to the reality of the situation and the movie never really loses its focus, which is clearly on the human aspect of perseverance and the will to survive and sustain in difficult circumstances. 

This is not to say that the film is without physical tension or effects.  One of the more powerful scenes for me--since I had the pleasure of visiting the World Trade Center on several occasions--was when the second tower collapses over the rescue unit led by Nicholas Cage's character.  Sitting in the audience, you can almost feel the tremors and the shakes around you, as if you are actually present there with the characters.  However, for the most part, Stone minimizes that aspect and zooms in more on the events surrounding the rescue and the roller coaster ride of emotion experienced by the family members. 

At no point, in fact do we ever see the planes crash into the towers, instead it is merely implied through subtle, yet effective tactics.  In one scene we see the shadow of a large plane just moments before the first crash is heard, but not shown.  We only see the damage via use of actual news footage.  News of the Pentagon being hit is given to us by a radio bulletin and is never shown.  Instead the film relies more on actual captured images that are now infamous (particularly that of the WTC employee who jumped from a window high atop one of the towers to his death below.)

Some will continue to question whether it was too soon after the tragedy to produce such a film of this subject matter, and their arguments are certainly not without some validity.  I, however, would respond by recommending that those with these reservations see the film, for themselves before making such an assessment.  I left the theater having seen a film that I felt paid proper homage to those that lost their lives five years ago, and not one that merely exploited those dramatic events.  Was it too soon? Perhaps.  Was it tastefully and respectfully done? I think so.  See it for your self and judge it as you will. 

-JSM. 09/11/06.    

Was World Trade Center produced too soon after the tragedy?
	Yes- It should have never been made.
	Yes- They should have waited a few more years.
	No- It's a part of history, and should be fair game.
	No- Enough time has passed and it was done well.
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Post Fight Comments-

((Crowd begins to stir, as Ace grabs the microphone and addresses the fans.))

Ace: Like I've said all along, I am the man with the plan and I proved it to each and everyone of you commies out there that doubted me! But that's all water under the proverbial bridge, because right now I'd like to make something known to the world. You see, I have a message for Realtor Man. He wants to come out here and make big announcements about how he's going to be a daddy and how he's dedicating his fight to his unborn child...But it's kind of pathetic if you ask me.

((Crowd continues to stir.))

Ace: Yeah, that's right, Realtor Man wants to make headlines, well I've got a headline for him right here!

((Ace pulls an envelope from his pocket.))

Dave: James, if this is what I think it is, this crowd is about to be shocked out of their seats.

Ace: You see, the Ace always stays one step a head of all the other players, and my sources have uncovered quite an interesting bit of information and it's all in this envelope I hold in my hand. Realtor Man, your wife, Mitzy she's having a baby, but your NOT the father!

((Crowd boos in disbelief.))

Minkster: Argh-Argh-Argh

Ace: You can boo all you want, but this Tuesday on live TV at our press conference I will reveal to the world, the identity of that babies real dad...and Realtor Man, before you lose your cool, let me just say-- that it's someone you and certainly your wife know real well. I'll see you next week, chump!

((Ace drops the microphone and exits the ring, in front of a stunned crowd.))

((The Minkster picks up the mic.))

Minkster: And don't forget to catch our new show, Who wants to be a Porn star? Every Saturday night, check local listings for place and time in your area, argh-argh-argh!

((Your the best Around plays over the speakers, as the Ace and The Minkster make their way up the ramp.))

Coming Tuesday:

The Finals Press Conference

Who will Ace reveal as the father of Mitzy's baby?
	Ace Compton
	Steve the Minkster
	Dave Razz
	Joe Peein
	Boozemaster
	J-Cool
	Coach Dad
	Giant Franco
	Rumblin Rosey
	It's all a hoax!
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Wednesday: Voting for Ace Compton vs. Realtor Man begins!