• 
  Fans are demanding more and more blood! I think that they want to see injuries. Many think it is 'fake," but believe me until you get in that ring and experience it, you just don't know! The men now a days are taking chances of serious injury every time they enter the ring.  Doing a back flip or a standing suplex is very hard (on the body). Then let's talk about the cage matches. -( Man Mountain Dean ) 

Read my interview with Dean, a former professional wrestler, in its entirety over at: http://jsmcafesports.blogstream.com.

-JSM 

Glittery texts by bigoo.ws

w/Eric the DJ (vs.)

Glittery texts by bigoo.ws

w/ his dad

Special Enforcer: Realtor Man

• Joe Peein: We are live in front of a huge capacity crowd, awaiting a big-time showdown of the ages, and I, for one have been looking forward to this one for quite some time. I'm also happy to be rejoined by my broadcast partner, Dave Razz. Dave welcome back, you missed a wild one last week, for sure!

• Dave Razz: Yeah it was awesome Joe, I'm glad to be back. I caught all the mayhem from home, on line last week and it sure was a crazy scene, but I'm pumped for this one tonight. It's gonna be intense.

• Joe: No doubt, I think when we saw the brackets released several weeks back, we saw this match-up and said that this could be the most evenly matched fight of the first round, and apparently, the viewers agreed, as they voted this as the most anticipated fight of the opening round, which should explain this sell out crowd.

• Dave: Well Joe, how about the big news announced earlier today, that this fight would feature a special guest referee, any idea who it might be?

• Joe: I have yet to receive word on that information, but I just hope with last weeks turmoil that it isn't Ace Compton! Lets take it up to our announcer, who may have some insight on this latest development.

  ((Ladies and gentlemen, please allow me to introduce to you the special enforcer for tonight's main event...the man who will face the winner of tonight's fight...Realllll-tor Man! )

  ((Crowd is shocked!))

• Joe: Are you kidding me?! Wow!

• Dave: Joe, this one just got even more interesting, it could change the dynamics of this fight in a big way.

• Joe: One might think this favors his brother, Booozemaster...but I'm not sure, does Realtor Man really want to have to face his own brother in the next round? Will he be impartial, is the real question?

  ((Realtor Man plays to the crowd and tosses his cards into the stands.))

  Announcer: ((Making his way to the ring, accompanied by his Dad...currently residing in River falls, Wisconsin and weighing in at 175 lbs...Boozemaaaaster!!!))

• Joe: Out comes Booze playing his saxophone for the masses, with his dad leading the way. Dave, there's been a lot of trash talking leading up to this one, what's your take?

• Dave: Joe, that shouldn't be a surprise, these are two of the bigger talkers in this tournament, but soon the time for talk will end and these guys will have to go out there and prove it.

  ((Coach Dad shouts instructions from outside the ring and motions for Realtor Man to listen))

• Joe: Well our ref is trying to establish some law and order as he is telling Coach Dad to stay in his corner...first time I've ever seen a son tell his father to stand in the corner.

  Announcer: ((His opponent...accompanied to the ring by his cousin, Eric the DJ...from the University of Minnesota, but currently residing in Manhattan, New York. Weighing in at 182 lbs...J-Cooooooool!!!))

• Joe: One of the best entrances in the UFF, J-cool comes out on a ramp way wearing his cap and gown with dictionary in-hand.

  ((Pomp and Circumstance plays throughout the arena, as J-Cool takes in the ovation, arms in the air.))

• Dave: I've been on flights shorter than these entrances, Joe—what a couple of hams.

• Joe: The crowd can't decide who to cheer for in this one, as J-Cool finally enters the ring and glancing over at our referee.

• Dave: Well Joe, I can't say I blame him for showing concern, he probably feels as if he's crashing a damn family reunion in that ring.

• Joe: Realtor Man may be in the toughest spot of all-- having to call a match between his brother and good friend, and knowing that he's fighting the winner. Cool and Booze have a stare down in the center of the ring, both with a confident smirk on their faces, as an uncertain Realtor Man stands between them. Dave I have to ask this again, but will our ref call this one right down the middle?

• Dave: I guess we'll find out.

You choose the winner!!!

Next Week: Ace Compton vs. Rumblin' Rosey *

For up to the minute Tournament info check out the link to the brackets and match-ups at: http://www.bracketmaker.com/tmenu.cfm?tid=172613&tclass 

Game Details Date/Time: 8/18/2006 Location: The JSM Cafe Score: Boozemaster vs. J-Cool Storyline: This feud has been brewing ever since Boozemaster began touring the local coffee houses, playing his saxophone for the patrons. J-Cool, sensing an invasion of his turf began countering with his "karoke night performances." One night while performing, Booze and his dad began heckling J-Cool from their front row seats. An angry J-Cool responded by jumping off stage and throwing his coffee in Booze's face, causing a near riot. A challenge was made for the tournament and accepted. That fight for the spotlight is next...winner take all! Name: J-Cool Fighter: J-Cool Style: Grappler Weight: 182 lbs. Hometown: University of Minnesota Weapon of Choice: Dictionary and coffee thermus Allies: Joe Peein, Realtor Man Rivals: Ace Compton, Realtor Man Theme Music: Pomp & Circumstance Corner Man: Eric “the DJ” Hangouts: Coffee houses and trips to mid-town Manhattan Finishing Maneuver: “The Exclamation Point” Name: Boozemaster Fighter: Boozemaster Style: High flyer/Grappler Weight: 175 lbs. Hometown: River falls, Wisconsin Weapon of choice: his saxophone Allies: Dave Razz, Realtor Man Rivals: Giant Franco, J-Cool Theme song: Easy Jazz Corner Man: his dad Hangouts: Campus dorms and Auditoriums Finishing Maneuver: “The Swinging Soprano Suplex”

Before the Bell Interviews:

(Announcer, Dave Razz): “I'm here with one of tonight's combatants, Boozemaster along with his corner man for the big fight...his dad. Booze, can we get some words?”

Coach Dad: “Let me handle this one, son. Tonight Boozemaster is out to make a statement. I've coached him hard for this fight and my son is going to go out there and dominate and destroy. He is both the present and the future of our family name and anything less than total domination is simply unacceptable. Because you see Dave, He's had the best coach on the planet to guide him, and if anyone can find fault in his game plan, it's me, you got that?

Boozemaster: When that ref counts to three and J-Cool is left laying and begging for mercy, it'll be music to my ears! J-Fool likes to talk a lot of trash, but he can't back up all that jazz! I'm going to stomp him into coffee beans and than I'm going to make him buy me some alcohol to celebrate my victory.

Coach Dad: Lets get out there, son. And remember there's no pressure, just go out there and do your thing...but if you lose, I'm disowning you. Dave this interview is over, we've got a fight to win!

Dave Razz: Interesting comments, Joe lets take it back to you.

(Announcer, Joe Peein): Alright, thanks Dave. I'm standing here with the man who will be facing Boozemaster in our next fight, none other than J-Cool a long with his corner man and cousin, Eric the DJ. Any comments before this big fight, J?

J-Cool: Well, Joe as a matter of fact I do have a few comments, because you see in just a few moments, all the fans across the Internet are going to be witness to the phenomenon that is J-Coolism! You see, Joe I am the prince of paradox, the sire of satire, the wizard of witticisms and of course, the king of the coffee house!

The only music that little neophyte is going to be playing tonight is the blues after I decimate his pipsqueak self all across that ring and climax it all with my exclamation point! Because, you see like cream in your coffee, I always find a way to rise to the top and tonight will be no different! Tonight (Lose)master, this intellectual giant is taking you to school and after I beat little bro, it's on to the semis to face his big bro and if pops wants to get in my way too, well my cousin Eric has something special for him.

Eric the DJ: I might have to play one of my chart toppers on Booze's dad if he tries to interfere tonight, I've got a spot for him on my greatest hits list, dude!

Joe: Well there you have it, strong words from both camps heading into this one, coming up we take a look at the Tale of the Tape and that...is next.

“I Maim” James w/ his posse ( vs.) Josh “My Gosh” Konnors w/ Ronald McDonald

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Joe: Welcome back, everyone this is Joe Peein and I'm joined by Ace Compton and this first round slug fest is under way!

Ace: Let me tell you, Joe neither of these guys are strangers to the buffet table, but then again this isn't body building, it's good old-fashion fighting!

Joe: James and his friends brought some boxes to the ring with them, what could this be about?

Ace: I don't know, but isn't boxing allowed? Wait a minute—now they're chugging cabbage and cucumbers at Josh, I love it!

Joe: This has started as a 4-on-1 assault—but Josh is actually picking up the produce and scarfing it down!

Ace: He's bashing himself in the forehead with the cabbage, like their beer cans, what a machine!

Joe: He throws burgers and fries back at the gang, with Ronald's help, but James just slices them down with his sword.  This is insane! 

((Crowd roars w/ approval!))

Joe: The posse has backed down, so maybe we'll see some one-on-one action here. Josh is charging, is that a bratwurst I see in his hand, yes it is and he's stuffing it in Jame's face!!!

Ace: Ha, is that a wiener in his pocket or is he just happy to see us?

Joe: This is turning into a damn food fight! I think Josh's unorthodox style is definitely throwing James off his game here.

Ace: Ouch! Josh just got forearmed in the knee, I think he might be done for, now! Time to write an end to this Cinderella story, Joe.

Joe: It's not over yet Ace, but James has taken control as he connects on a vicious karate kick to Josh's melon-like head.

Ace: James is used to squashing melons, it's what he does.. he's the red-headed step child of Chuck Norris and Gallagher!

Joe: The posse are laying a beat down on Ronald on the outside of the ring, meanwhile I see James reaching for his dreaded sword, he's smells blood, I'm afraid...Josh had better get up... if he can.

Ace: Is that a sword in Jame's pocket or is he...

Joe: Will you stop?!

((Crowd shrieks!))

Joe: James is measuring Josh with his sword. Josh is on his knees, busted open and head spinning, I don't think he knows where he is!

Ace: Josh is in lala land, but what else is new? Better cover your eyes, Joe this could get bloody, James is looking to cut Josh down to size!

(The posse approach the announce desk and taunt Ace).

Ace: You punks, want to go right now? You don't want any of this! I'll shove this plunger up your !@#s!

Joe: Hey Compton, settle down and call the fight! You guys are disrupting the action!

((Ace throws his head set at the ring, distracting “I Maim” James).

Joe: ladies and gentleman, we're losing control out here, as my broadcast partner has gotten caught up in this fray, James now is shouting at us from the corner of the ring and waving his sword, I might have an accident soon if that sword gets any closer to us!

((Crowd Erupts!!!))

Joe: OH MY GOSH...IT'S THE JOSH KIBOSH!!! Josh just bulldozed himself onto James in the corner and knocked him clear out of the ring, this is crazy mayhem!!! I thought Josh was done for, but somehow he pulled himself up!

Joe: James is laying motionless on the floor after that splash, as his posse try to get him up on his feet, my partner is keeping them at bay, swinging his plunger like a mad man! Settle down, Ace!

((Ref: 7...8...9...10, that's it! Ring the bell!)

Joe: And that's it! Josh has done it, I don't believe it! We have witnessed our first major upset of the tournament, as Josh has advanced to the semi-finals via count out victory!!! Look at all the little kids storming the ring and celebrating with the bloody, but victorious big man!

((Circus music plays throughout the arena.))

((A groggy James looks on in disgust and disbelief))

Joe: Ace, what were you thinking? You may have adversely affected the outcome of this fight!

((Ace smiles))

Ace: Just part of the master plan, Joe...like I said before, I'm just playing the odds.

((Ace Compton throws down the mic and struts off, with a noticeable grin.))

Joe: I don't know about you folks, but something tells me the devious Ace Compton has something up his sleeve and tonight's result may just be the start of it. This is Joe Peein calling the action and inviting you to join us for our next epic encounter, this Sunday, as J-Cool goes head-to-head with Boozemaster. Here's hoping they have the ring cleaned up by then...see you there. Awesome!

-WINNER:Josh "My Gosh" Konnors!

Next: Boozemaster vs. J-Cool Voting begins Sunday!!!