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JSM Cafe: Originals


 "Ask Doctor J" Weekly!
 

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Dear Doctor J,
 
Weeeeeee! I hope you get this letter, because I need some help, man.  I think I might be in line for a promotion soon at my job, except I keep getting over-looked by the men in suits.  My friends and I were out driving around the other day egging houses, breaking stuff and sword fighting on the roof tops when it finally hit me. Maybe this is a sign that I'm meant for bigger and badder things like being the next Ultimate fighting champion of the world! Weeeeeee! After all, I like to hurt people, and I know how to beat up 20 guys with a single blow.  Tell me Doc, is this just a dream or should I go for it? Can I punch you in the spleen to prove my point?

-J. Ortloff, Hell, MICH.
 
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Dear J. Ortloff,

Those are certainly some ambitious goals you have there.  Incidentally, Sigmund Freud would say that your love of swords is a compensation for your phallic short comings.  But he's dead now, so you can't have his spleen either.  Maybe those "men in suits" don't want to promote you because they think you might do something freaky like challenge customers to duels or bite off the heads of their pets.  I think a career in the blood sport might be just what you need.   
Perhaps than you might get that shot in the noggin you so desperately need to bring you back to planet earth from that fantasy world you call home.  Put down the glue bottle, step a way from your dungeons and dragons fetish and come back to reality.  Girls may not always be as sharp as your sword, but atleast they'll make for a better companion, so give it a try, Mr. Kung fu-phooey.   And maybe some day you might actually procreate...on second thought for the good of humanity, scratch all that!   
-Doctor J.
(End of Session. )
 
(Tune in every week for Doctor J letters all August long.)Picture of 41365_24213.gif
Posted by JSM80 at 6:01 PM - 4 Comments   Add a Comment  
 

 Bridge Collapse Update.
 

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My response: "As someone who rode passed this bridge nearly every day en route to the University of Minnesota throughout the fall and spring this tragic event struck a definite chord with me.  I am relieved to report that neither myself,family members, or friends were on or near the bridge at the time of the collapse to the very best of my knowledge. 

However, others weren't so fortunate and obviously I want to send out my best wishes to all of those people who may have been directly affected by this horrible event.  If there is anything positive that can be taken out of this, it is the display of courage, compassion, and bravery by regular Minnesotans  during this crisis that has been seen across the country.  They should be proud, as I am about the strength they have shown throughout this adversity.  There is no doubt in my mind that with that continued strength, this city will recover and be stronger than ever." -JSM.

Posted by JSM80 at 11:52 AM - 1 Comment   Add a Comment  
 
 Breaking News!
 

 

-Tragedy Strikes Minneapolis-

(CNN) -- At least seven people were killed when an interstate bridge in Minneapolis, Minnesota, collapsed Wednesday evening, in what the governor called a "catastrophe of historic proportions."

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The accident occurred shortly after 6 p.m. (7 p.m. ET) when dozens of cars were on the bridge.

Witnesses described a "dust cloud" as it collapsed, sending cars and and chunks of concrete plunging into the Mississippi River below.

At least 60 people were taken to local hospitals, said Minneapolis Fire Chief Jim Clack.

All survivors have been taken off the bridge, said Minneapolis police Chief Tim Dolan during a news conference Wednesday night. Crews have searched 50 cars and are looking for more possible victims, but the mission has changed from a rescue to a recovery mode.

"We have confirmed that this will be a very tragic night when it is over," said Minneapolis Mayor R.T. Rybak.

Mark Lacroix, who lives on the 20th floor of an apartment building near the bridge, told CNN he saw the last seconds of the collapse.

"I heard this massive rumbling and shaking basically and looked out my window," Lacroix said. "It just fell right into the river."

 

Another witness was walking on a pedestrian bridge nearby when he saw the disaster.

"There were several cars completely just crushed. ... I saw some policeman walk up to the drivers' windows and look and and kept walking on by, so either the person was deceased or not in the car," Joe Costello said.

The U.S. Department of Homeland Security said it saw no indications of terrorism in the incident.

Construction took place on the bridge Tuesday night and was to take place again Wednesday night, according to the Minnesota Department of Transportation. The highway would have been restricted to a single lane in both directions from 8 p.m. to 5 a.m. both nights.

The bridge was undergoing redecking work, but nothing structural was being done, U.S. Transportation Department spokesman Brian Turmail said.

There were eight construction workers on the bridge at the time of the collapse, and one of them is unaccounted for, said Mike McGray, president of Progressive Contractors, the company doing the repair work on the bridge.

Gov. Tim Pawlenty said inspections of the 40-year-old bridge in 2005 and 2006 found no structural defects, but a 2001 study conducted by the Minnesota Department of Transportation found "several fatigue problems" in the bridge's approach spans and "poor fatigue details" on the main truss.

The study suggested that the design of bridge's main truss could cause a collapse if one of two support planes were to become cracked, although it allowed that a collapse might not occur in that event. But, the study concluded, "fatigue cracking of the deck truss is not likely" and "replacement of the bridge ... may be deferred."

After the collapse, the nearby University of Minnesota Medical Center received "just a handful" of injuries from the accident, spokesman Ryan Davenport said.

"One of our hospitals has five patients so far, and the other on the other side of the river has none," he said.

Nancy Ebert of Northwestern Hospital said it had received four injured people -- two children and two adults.

Dr. Joseph Clinton, chief of emergency medicine at Hennepin County Medical Center, said the hospital is treating 28 injured people, six of them critically hurt.

He also said the hospital received one patient who was pronounced dead on arrival. "We have one drowning victim here, and I believe there are more drowning victims at the scene," he said.

Witnesses told CNN a school bus filled with children was on the bridge when it collapsed, but they also said the bus did not drop into the water and it appeared that all the children had been evacuated.

Jeff Pearson, regional vice president of First Student, Inc. -- which handles school buses in Minneapolis -- said that about 60 children, plus teachers, chaperones and a driver, were on the bus and that all were accounted for.

Aerial footage showed the middle of the bridge caved in, lying in the Mississippi River, with cars both on top and submerged in the water. The main part of the collapsed span was not submerged, but the span clearly separated from the land-based sections of the highway on both the north and south ends of the bridge.

A witness said it looked like "toy cars" were plunging into the water.

"I heard a terrible noise, and then I looked. It seemed like a piece of the bridge was pancaking and going down," said Janet Stately. "I said, 'Did we really see that? Did we really see that?' and it was unbelievable." (Source: CNN.COM.)

 

Posted by JSM80 at 12:21 AM - No Comments   Add a Comment  
 

 Brewing Issues (Vol.10)
 

 
Picture of 39369_24213.gifElection 08' Update -by JSM Cafe
 
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I watched the CNN Democratic Presidential debates last Tuesday night as it was heavily hyped as a new and innovative format in which regular citizens could send in their questions via You Tube videos for the candidates to answer.  I found this format to be unique and I also liked how they mixed in serious to-the -issue questions concerning topics such as the War in Iraq and also provided more humorous off key questions to balance out the mood of the evening. 
 
Anderson Cooper did a fine job as the host and moderator of the debates, often challenging the candidates if they swayed from the questions asked, as was often the case early on. 
 
One notable difference here from the earlier Republican debate last month was that the three "major" democratic candidates, Hillary Clinton, Barack Obama, and John Edwards were literally center stage all evening.  The face time for each candidate was noticeably skewered toward the favorites of the upcoming primaries, much to the chagrin of the other less-known democrats like former Senator, Mike Gravel who quipped:  "I like the question. I don't get very many of them, but I'll just tell you...(LAUGHTER) Thank you. Thank you. Has it been fair thus far?"
 
Here were some other notable excerpts from the evening's debate.
 

COOPER: Senator Obama, how do you address those who say you're not authentically black enough?

(LAUGHTER)

OBAMA: Well...

COOPER: Not my question; Jordan's question.

OBAMA: You know, when I'm catching a cab in Manhattan -- in the past, I think I've given my credentials.

-On the comments that John Edward's wife made that her husband was more qualified to serve the concerns of women then Sen. Hillary Clinton:

I have made this a central cause in my life and a central cause in my campaign. More women have difficulty getting the health care that they need than men do. And I was the first person to come out with a comprehensive, truly universal health care plan.

COOPER: So do you think you're a better advocate for women than Senator Clinton?

EDWARDS: Those are issues -- listen, Senator Clinton has a long history of speaking out on behalf of women. She deserves to be commended for that. But I believe that on the issues that directly affect women's lives, I have the strongest, boldest ideas and can bring about the change that needs to be brought.

Ohio Representative, Dennis Kucinich also was clear in stating that the Democrats were not united on all fronts:

"Well, first of all, a clear record as having not only opposed the war from the very beginning -- the only one of the stage that actually voted against the war, and also the only one on the stage who voted against funding the war 100 percent of the time."

COOPER: Senator Obama, you were involved in that question as well.

OBAMA: "Look, I don't think this is just a Republican problem. I think this is a problem that spans the parties. And we don't just need a change in political parties in Washington. We've got to have a change in attitudes of those who are representing the people, America. And part of the reason I don't take PAC money, I don't take federal lobbyists' money is because we've got to get the national interests up front as opposed to the special interests.

And that is something that I've got a track record doing, and I think that is what the American people are looking for in this election -- people of both parties as well as independents."

Overall, I thought this new format was very innovative and new age in bringing the questions to the candidates directly that forced them to answer the real questions of the people without the benefit of prior rehearsal.  I look forward to the Republican Presidential You Tube/CNN debates that will follow on September 25th.  As always, I will be watching and ready to report back to the readers. -JSM.   

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Posted by JSM80 at 4:53 PM - No Comments   Add a Comment  
 

 Cafe Classics: Beatles Weekend!
 

Posted by JSM80 at 7:49 PM - 6 Comments   Add a Comment  
 
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Author: JSM80
From Minneapolis, USA
Age: 27
 
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