Realtor Man vs. Giant Franco

 

Their fight is next...

Lets send it down to our announcers, who are set to call tonight's action, our play-by-play man is Joe Peein and his color commentator, Dave Razz...

• Joe: Hello everyone, can you feel the electricity in the air as we get set to kick off this exciting and interactive tournament that will crown the first ever Fantasy fighting ultimate champion?!

• Dave: Hey Joe, does that mean that the winner will be the first F.U.C?

• Joe: Remember Dave, we do have a family audience here, but yes, you're correct.

• Dave: Well, I suppose we should introduce the fighters, as they make their way to ringside. Here goes.

• Joe: “Making his way torward the ring, accompanied by his loyal man-servant, Matt Kapoopcheck, hailing from Corporate America, and weighing in at an astounding 350 lbs...Giant Franco!!!”

• ((loud Boos!!!))

• Dave: My god, Joe listen to these chorus of boos, they're actually throwing pieces of debris into the ring and the match hasn't even started yet.

• Joe: Are you surprised? Franco is even less popular at the polls than George W.

• Dave: Let's not get over-political here, Joe...(laughs) but that was pretty funny!

Joe: Franco always comes to the ring with that cash register flowing, he's been known to use that as a foreign object, you know.

Dave: Yes, but as we know no object is illegal in this grueling tournament. Here comes his challenger.

• Joe: “And his opponent...accompanied to the ring, by his wife, Mitzy. From Champlin, Minnesota and weighing in at 180 lbs...The Realtor Man!!!

• ((Realtor Man pumps his fist w/ cell phone in the air, to the ovation of the crowd))

• Dave: His wife appears to be giving him a good luck kiss before the big fight.

• Joe: You call that a kiss? They're practically making out in the corner of the ring...hey get a room or get on to the match you too!

• Dave: I just hope we don't see that same pre-match ritual with Franco and Matt K. I might lose my lunch, otherwise.

• Joe: Good point, Dave. It looks like our two combatants are having a stare down in the center of the ring. There is the bell and this opening round match is offically under way.

You decide who wins!!!

1st Round Fight: You choose the winner!
	Giant Franco
	The Realtor Man
Free polls from Pollhost.com

Check out the "Tale of the Tape" and interview of both fighters below. -Fight results posted Friday.

Game Details Date/Time: 8/4/2006 Location: The JSM Cafe Storyline: Realtor Man vs. Giant Franco Giant Franco confronts R.M. and attempts to black mail him into selling him a new house at dirt cheap rates, otherwise he would see that Realtor Man never gain access to new clients while still working at Franco's stores part time. When Realtor man threatens to quit, in order to escape The Giant's hold over him, Franco challenges him to a fight in the first round of the tournament, with the stipulations being that if Giant Franco wins, he gets his new house, but if he loses the fight, Realtor Man can quit his job and get a bonus for his troubles, so that he can buy himself a new car at the evil owner's expense. Their fight is next... Name: Realtor Man Fighter: The Realtor Man Style: Fast Striker Weight: 180 lbs. Hometown: Champlin, Minnesota Weapon of choice: Softball bat Allies: Joe Peein, J-Cool Rivals: Giant Franco, Ace Compton Favorite Film: Anchor Man Theme song: Real American Valet: wife, Mitzy Finishing Maneuver: “The Foreclosure DDT” Name: Giant Franco Fighter: Giant Franco Style: Slow brawler Weight: 350 lbs. Hometown: Corporate America Weapon of Choice: Cash register Allies: his fat wallet Rivals: employees Favorite Film: Wall street Theme Music: Country Corner Man: Matt K. Finishing Maneuver: “the Down sizer"

 

 

Realtor Man w/ wife, Mitzy

(vs.)

  Giant Franco w/ manservant, Matt K.

(Pre match)

Ultimate Fantasy Announcer, Joe Peein Interviewed "Realtor Man" and Giant Franco before their big fight Sunday.  Here were their comments.

 Realtor Man: I'm sorry, but Franco is like one of my cigerettes, first I'll smoke him, then I'll blow him out... all over the arena.  Then just when he is about all worn out, I'll drop him, rub him out with my foot and leave him laying all over the pavement! His big ass will be nothing more then a cigarette butt once I get through with him!

later...

Giant Franco: He's just not a team player, and I hate fighters who aren't team players.  You see in the business world there is a pecking order and this kid will learn that when you cross the boss man, you've got to pay the price! Once that bell rings I'm gonna down size him limb from limb, why? Because I can!  Realtor will be begging for a layoff, but when you're in the ring with the boss of bosses, you don't get laid off...YOU GET LAID OUT!

Joe: Matt, can I ask why you chose to back Giant Franco is this tournament?

Matt K: That's easy, God told me to in a dream.  You see, Franco is a very wise man, he loaned me his bible and read me some scriptures.  He gives me his famous high fives and when no one is looking, one of his famous bear hugs.  I trained him really well for this fight and Joe, I'm not ashamed to say that I took a whiff of his sweaty shirts on more then one occasion while getting them washed at the cleaners, after some of his work outs. (sighs)  

Joe: I see...well...awesome, now let's take a look at the tale of the tape between these two "gladiators of the ring."  That is coming up, next.   

ULTIMATE FANTASY FIGHTING

Rules for the players:

• The tournament will feature seven fights consisting of four first round fights, two semi-final fights and one championship final.  At the start of each week, you will be introduced to two of the created fighters that have been paired up to face-off.  Each of the four 1st round match-ups has it's own story to it that will be displayed.

 

• One tournament fight will be held each week and those playing will have until late Thursday evening to vote on which fighter they think should win.  You are free to base your vote on anything from the fighter's home town, to the weapon that they use, or even on their appearance or name.  The choice is yours. 

 

• Voting each week will begin late Sunday and end late Thursday.  There will only be one fight to vote on each week.  But the voting time will remain the same.  
• Make sure to check in every Friday morning, because that is when the fun reading really begins! I write up the results of your votes, declare the winner, AND write up how the fight went down, move for move and with no shortage of humor and satire.  
• A new fight will be posted each Sunday, and that week's fighters introduced.

 

• As far as voting goes, I encourage all players to vote as many times as they like for the fighters they like best.  The only restrictions are that you are only allowed to vote once a day, that means you can vote up to five times.  I also ask that if you choose to vote several times, throughout the week that you vote for only one of the two fighters in each fight.   
• But most importantly, have fun with this and feel free to provide comments on the action or on who you voted for and why.  That about covers it, enjoy the game and may the best fighter win. -JSM.

UFF Quarter-Finals		UFF Semi-Finals		UFF CHAMPIONSHIP FINALS!
	Realtor Man Fight 1: 8/4/06 Giant Franco
			Winner of 1 Fight 5: 9/1/06 Winner of 3
					Winner of 5  Fight 7: 9/24/06 Winner of 6
	J-Cool Fight 3: 8/18/06 Boozemaster
	Josh "My Gosh" Fight 2: 8/11/06 "I Maim" James
			Winner of 2 Fight 6: 9/8/06 Winner of 4
	"Ace" Compton Fight 4: 8/25/06 Rumblin' Rosie

 

• I am pleased to announce that the JSM Cafe will soon be expanding. JSM Cafe:Sports will be opening for business in late August- early September. I think the title says everything, but if you would like to read more about what it will cover in the world of sports, the page is currently up in the sports section of blogstream. http://jsmcafesports.blogstream.com/. I hope you all will stop on over for the grand opening week. I will let everyone know when exactly that will be as well as, offer more details on what you can look forward to seeing there, in the very near future.

• I am also happy to announce that fellow blogstream member, Dean, who you may recall from his blog, “Me thinking out Loud” in the politics section, has agreed to be my first interview for my new segment, known as JSM: Around the Blog! It is where I interview a fellow blogger on the site by asking them an assortment of questions related to a career, hobbie, or field that is unique or unusual, but very interesting. I have just completed my first interview and you can look for it to be posted in mid-August here at the Cafe.

• All the interviews are done on line, through e-mail, so if any of you would be interested in being the next subject for the month of September, please send me a comment and let me know what you would be interested in discussing. This is open to everyone, and I think this will be a very unique experience. If I get enough interested parties, I would be open to making this a new monthly feature.

• I always find it annoying when you tentatively have something planned for months a head of time and the people you made plans with decide to back out once that date nears. I think that when a group of people decide to do something and plans change, that everyone in that group should try and figure out a solution that best serves everyone. Rather then leaving it up to one person to try and work around everyone else's schedule.It's my belief that if people don't want to do something, then those people should come out and say it.

• I watched that entire Twins-White sox series, and the more I see them play, the more convinced I become that should my Twins make the playoffs, they will have an excellent chance of advancing to the championship series, and dare I say, World Series, with two star lefties on the mound. It was a very impressive performance. It will be interesting to see what happens, with the Tigers coming to town next.

• I want to send out my congratulations to a good friend of mine, who recently found out that he and his wife are expecting their first child soon. It goes without saying that I am extremely happy for them. As a soon-to-be uncle, I can only imagine how exciting it must be to learn that you will soon be a father. I wish them both the best over the next nine months and I look forward to hearing from them as the months progress. I might need to learn how to change diapers now, with all these babies popping up around me, just in case I ever have to baby sit.

• For the wrestling fans out there, a quick rundown of matches you can just about count on seeing at this year's Summer Slam event. Hogan vs. Orton, as reported here last week. DX vs. The McMahons, Batista vs. Booker T, Misterio vs. Guerrero, Cena vs. Edge, RVD vs. Big Show and Flair vs. Foley and dare I say, Angle vs. Sabu???

• I am postponing this week's Fantasy Football report due to time constraints, however it will return next week with a closer look at some of the top fantasy players who switched teams in the off season and whether their stocks have gone up or down with the change of scenery. Players, such as, Daunte Culpepper, Terrell Owens, and Drew Brees will be covered in next week's report. So make sure to check it out.

• The results are in for the Doctor J poll that was up last week, asking which doctor you would most trust with your problems. “None of the above” finished first, followed by a tie for second between, our own Doctor J and Doctor Phil. Go figure.

• Lastly, as if you needed the reminder, The Ultimate Fantasy Fighters Tournament is starting this weekend and you can begin voting Sunday. The first fight taking place is Realtor Man vs. Giant Franco. Everyone can vote up to once a day for the fighter that they like. Voting for each fight will close every Thursday night, so make sure to get your votes in early in the week so that yours doesn't get left out. I hope many will participate in what should be a fun and interactive experience. I will be posting the rules of the game shortly, to help clear up any questions or confusion. That's all for now, I hope everyone has a good weekend and don't forget to catch all the action this coming week at the Cafe, and like always, if you have any questions, feel free to drop me a comment. -JSM.