BANG OF A START- (Behind the scenes)
JSM: Everyone is here, I think. We have a big week planned so it is important that we take roll call so that nothing goes wrong. It's important that we let everyone know that we are still open for business, even if a lot of people are out of town for the weekend, the Cafe is always open.
Professor J: Very studious of you to bring that up, I am certainly not deficient in my presence and enthusiasm for this occasion.
Compton the Janitor:
I'm not cleaning up the mess when it's over, that's for sure. I've got a hot date with a horny little gnome at the end of the week, and I don't want to be late.
Doctor J: You seem to have a preoccupation with small things and/or objects, Freud would say that you may be suffering from genophobia, more commonly referred to as--
Janitor: No more of your psycho dynamic babble, Doc! Save it for later in the week when you read your letters, just show me where the booze is for this shindig.
Eric the Bartender: Waz UP!!!That would be my department, don't worry I'll have the bar ready for service in no time at all...I think.
Derek Jeter: My agent says I have to wait until Wednesday to find out if I made the JSM MLB All-Star Team? What's up with that? What am I supposed to do until then? I only have a New York minute.
Elvis:
It's no time to get all shook up, Mister Jeter, soon we're about to find out where the King ranks among the Great American Icons, and like everything else, the King always comes out #1—know what I mean? uh-huh.
Angry Scott: That's a bunch of $%*^ sh*t! I voted for f'n FDR. What kind of &*%$^ is this?
JSM: What happened to the pianist I requested for this week, why isn't he here?
Doctor J: I've got some bad news about that. I'm afraid they may have mistaken. Apparently they sent us this Mariachi singer by mistake. If my spanish is correct, I believe his name is, Fernando Enrique Sanchez, Lupe for short.
Sanchez:
Hay muchas semejanzas entre la colonizacio'n anglosajona y la espanola en el continente americanca!
Janitor: Commie bastard!
Professor J:
Oh, his idiolect suffers from great impudicity!
Angry Scott: Foreign Language --doesn't that violate Peeve #10?
Sanchez:
OYE!
JSM: OYE, is right. Let's get this party started. Readers beware, this will be one unpredictable week. Is everyone ready?
Sanchez:
Iz dat firecracker in tu pocket? Or tu just happy to see mi? OYE!
JSM: Dirty Sanchez! Very, very dirty!
