Men, Don't Say this at Victioria's Secret


10. Does this come in children's sizes?
9. No, thanks. I'm just sniffing.
8. I'll be in the dressing room going blind.
7. Mom will love this!!!
6. Oh, the size won't matter, she's inflatable.
5. That's okay. You don't have to wrap it, I'll eat it here!
4. Will you model this for me?
3. Miracle what? This is better than world peace!
2. 45 bucks?! You're just going to end up naked anyway!
1. And the thing a man should never, ever under any circumstances say out loud in Victoria's Secret: Oh, honey, you'll never get your fat ass into that!

• The Minnesota Twins hit their sixth grand slam of the season last night, which is already the most they have had in a season since 1970.
• Look for Quarterback, Ben Roethlisberger to make a full recovery by the start of training camp for the champion, Steelers. The knee injuries he suffered in the motorcycle accident are not considered serious. There figures to be more stipulations added to players' contracts as a result of this incident, however.
• Speaking of Football news, I have pushed back the fantasy report on Tight ends to next Thursday, due to time constraints. But fear not, I haven't forgotten about it, fantasy fans. It promises to be a good read.
• I think it is important to note that occasionally I like to use certain segments of my articles to poke a little “friendly” fun at people around me, specifically those who I know well. There have been certain times when some of my readers, many whom I know and who know me well, have read a little too much into my barbs. It goes without saying that absolutely no harm is meant in any articles that appear here and no one should take them as personal. With that being said, I won't shy a way from pushing the proverbial envelope. Though I always welcome comments from readers, good or bad. Just don't look too closely for hidden messages in every reading, it tends to take the fun out of it, otherwise.
• I was happy to hear about the bombing of Al Zarquowi, it's a shame that a lot of liberals couldn't find anything positive to say about this military triumph. A lot (but, not all) of them would rather focus their attention on bashing the war endlessly with their “sky is falling” spiel. I guess a hunting accident involving the Vice President is a much bigger story to the far left than the elimination of one the most dangerous terrorists our country has seen.
• Days of Our Lives or Desperate Housewives? You tell me. I know which one I'd watch if I had a gun to my head. That's easy.
• For those who are wondering, and based on feedback I have gotten, there are quite a few of you, an all-new set of “Ask Doctor J” letters will be posted during a big Fourth of July week, here on the site. Also that week I will be posting the “Top 25 Greatest American Icons List.” I am looking for feedback on who you think is worthy of making this prestigious list. Send comments on your choices and I will consider them when making the final list. I am open to Americans of all kinds. Political figures, athletes, actors, activists, writers...etc. So I welcome all input.
• Lastly, as the site approaches its' one month anniversary, I would like to take the time to thank all who have visited the site or contributed to it in the first month of its' existence. The cafe has been open just a short time and it already has “regulars,” who stop by daily. I appreciate the support and welcome your feedback. Keep stopping by for your daily cup of quips. For the less frequent visitors make sure you check back Fourth of July week for a big week of specials. More thoughts later, when they come to me.
  -J.S.M.

-

{{The New ECW or The Next XFL?}}

Let me first go on record and say that I really hope this new version of the old ECW is successful, if for no other reason than to provide wrestling fans with an alternative to the current product found on Monday and Friday nights.  However, if last night's debut show and history are any indicator, ECW fans could be in for a rather rude awakening. 

My first impression of the show after watching it was not as harsh or negative as other reports I have read.  (But c'mon, The Zombie??) I would not consider myself to be a hardcore fan of the 'old' ECW, but I did enjoy many of their past performers and other aspects of it.  So the first thing that struck me when it came on last night was how much it looked like a WWE show in its production and atmosphere.  In this case, that is not a good thing. It simply didn't look or feel like the ECW that I remember, and if I felt that way I'm sure the hardcore fans likely felt it too.

For that reason, I question what the long-term success will be of this new brand of wrestling if things continue on this course. Will this be another XFL? Vince McMahon's misguided attempt at promoting a new football league, that lasted only one season. Or is this ECW 'rebirth' something that carries a punch and that will generate a new audience? I think it is a bit early to tell, but early signs create some doubts. The first thing that needs to be addressed is the relatively small roster, as evidenced by the strong reliance on established WWE "names". I think for this new show to become successful the first line of business should be to create new stars that they can build around and that fit the "ECW mold". An over-reliance on stars like the Big Show or Kurt Angle, who are still seen by a majority of fans as WWE wrestlers could create confusion and too many comparisons to WWE Raw and Smackdown.

It was believed, after all that creative wanted to establish this new brand as different from the other two, however last night there were far too many similarities to accomplish that goal. We can only hope that it will be addressed in future broadcasts. It may also prove unwise to tape ECW at the same arenas and on the same night as Smackdown events. Part of creating that different 'feel' to the shows is holding it in arenas that cater to the ECW fans. Other than the old entryway through the crowd that the ECW performers emerged from it was difficult to tell this from a typical WWE Smackdown event. The fans at the arena were also a mix of WWE fans and a few scattered ECW patrons. Thus, the passion from the crowd was often lacking from the broadcast and frankly, that a long with the strong work ethic, were the biggest staples of the "old" ECW.

So far it hasn't been a smooth transition. But it would also be unfair to judge everything based on one broadcast. I, like many fans will give it time before declaring the new ECW a failure or Success. Hopefully things will be improved as they go a long and the new show is able to garner and sustain momentum going forward. Its success is what would be best for the business, the performers and most importantly, the fans. So lets hope we are not witnessing the next XFL or WBF, but instead, "the next big thing" in the wrestling industry. -JSM

any comments? Send to: http://thejsmcafe.blogstream.com/        

 

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Welcome to the first edition of "The Dog House." The place where all those persons, places or things that p*ss me off, go to think about what they've done. This week I decided to vent about 50 things. The master list of my 50 greatest pet peeves. Readers beware, for any who violate or commit said peeves, risk a future residency out back with Fido.

My 50 Greatest Pet Peeves (How many can you name?)

-People who don't answer their phone
-People who don't return calls
-People who say they will be someplace and don't show up.
-People who ignore you when you are saying something important
-People who change the channel a lot when you are watching tv with them.
-People who listen to obnoxious music.
-People who get in your way when you are in a hurry.
-When people ask stupid questions like “Do you work here?”
-When people try to talk to me in Spanish.
-When they act insulted when I answer them in English.
-When someone spoils my good mood with their bad one. Never a good idea.
-Being ignored at parties or left out of conversations.
-When people I know don't greet me when they see me.
-People who dress like rappers.
-People who are rappers.
-Being in a crowded space with people I don't know.
-Being in a place where there is nowhere to sit.
-Having to be outside in hot weather for a long period of time, unless I am in the water.
-People who always decline my invitations.
-People with no sense of humor.
-People who are too critical.
-People who don't like me are really annoying
-People who are stereotypical
-When people gang up on me in arguments.
-When someone owes me money and never pays up.
-When people tell me I complain about little things.
-People who show no remorse when you yell at them.
-When people take things for granted.
-People who aren't straight forward or lie.
-People who make a lot of grammatical errors
-Having to stand next to someone who smells bad.
-People who don't like onions
-When nobody cares about my problems or finds them interesting.
-People who are both ugly and have lousy personalities
-Stupid people with power
-People with names I can't pronounce
-The phrases: “My bad,” “True that,” and “What up,yo?”
-When someone yells at me, especially when I'm in a good mood.
-People who spit on me when they talk
-When someone drinks out of the same cup as me.
-Being rushed when I eat, drink, work, or read, or talk.
-People who watch trendy or annoying shows like: Friends, Full House, or The OC.
-Women who are shallow, conceited, manipulative, flighty, hyper, manic, nut jobs who want you to buy them everything.
-People who don't see how great I am.
-People who quote movies all the time that I haven't seen.
-People who don't like coffee
-People who aren't women or British that drink tea.
-When someone interupts my day-dreaming
-When people don't read my blog daily like they should (It's good for you).

-Being called: Boring, indecisive, naive, prudish, insecure, clumsy, fat, old, lazy, tan, dirty, slow, moody, confused, confusing, sensitive, gull ible, overly generous, cheap, metro, snobby, aloof, quiet, annoying, too nice, pushover, demanding, wet blanket, dependent, smiley, different, shy, picky, stiff, or uptight... Other than that, I'm easy-going.

Can you think of any that I missed? Let me know or send me your comments at: thejsmcafe.blogstream.com.

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